Saturday, February 22, 2014

Looking for New Opportunities

“Yeah, this message is for Dan Tracey. This is Jerry Baxter over at Glendale Subaru. I just wanted to let you know that we received your goddamn messages and your resume. And there’s a pretty gigantic discrepancy between what you’re claiming is your work history and what your references told me. I took the liberty of calling your boss Kevin Daly over at Van Nuys Nissan. He said you were fired for force-feeding a client two gallons of motor oil in order to get them to sign for a 2007 Xterra. And he also said...let’s see…lemme look at my notes…he said that you picked up each one of the sales team with an industrial crane and dropped them one by one into a leeching pit? You dumped a Caesar salad down your secretary’s pants? And you apparently would refuse your actual salary - said something about ripping up every check you received. I don’t know what the hell that’s about Tracey, but for Christ's sake you’re not wanted here, so thanks for the resume and good luck to you.”

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