Dare Not Speak His Name

Jeff is angry. When Jeff angry, he do bad things to bad men. He staple tibia to lunchpail. He eviscerate gopher in front of gopher family. He demolish untold amount of Toyota Selica. He beat person with own leg, then vomit in thermos, then dip leg in thermos, then make person eat leg. He replace bone marrow with toothpaste. He grill intestine of storeowner. He make damaging mockumentary on shady arms deal. He thrust one pound of brine shrimp into rectum of enemy. He shellac his porch with blood of city councilmen. He keelhaul sailboat full of Montessori school children. He emblazon van with airbrushed tableau of Jeff eating hide of neighbor family. He smack old lady with shotput. He shave with cheese grater. He coerce you into paying to have Jeff remove ones lungs from chest cavity. He play aimlessly on balalaika until it drive you mad, I tell you, mad!