Night Fever

Sigh. Another dream about Phylicia Rashad. Why does she haunt me? This is beyond my control.

I was walking south on Figueroa, when she approached me dressed as a bagel. I dodged her at first, but she whipped out a scythe, and stabbed me in the back with the sharp end. As it usually occurs in my dreams, I see an overhead shot of my body on the sidewalk, traffic whirring past in faded streaks, with the scythe sticking upright out of my back, no doubt deeply embedded in a kidney. Phylicia dances around me, gyrating and thrusting her body in my direction. The bagel costume melts to reveal that her naked body is shaped exactly like a bagel, and horribly distorted.

Within minutes, the streets appear as if they hadn’t been used in years; all car and pedestrian traffic vanishes. I stand up, and the scythe falls out of my back, landing on the asphalt with a deep clang. Across the street is an abandoned nightclub with a sign reading “REECE & FACE COMEDY”. I open the door slowly, the wind picking up down Figueroa making it leaden.

It’s pitch black inside, although in the distance I can hear what sounds suspiciously like the soundtrack to a cabaret scene from a movie – perhaps Gilda. I push aside what feels like a velvet curtain, and a voice says “Welcome back, Sonny. Your guests are waiting.” Dimmer lights turn on to reveal a massive nighttime flea market in a stadium, the seats filled to capacity. Sellers hawk vintage gear in endless rows. I’m led to a smiling salesman with crates and crates of records in mint condition.

“Buck a piece, friend. Have at ‘em!”

With each record I pull from the stack and add to my pile, the seller smiles, and the crowd roars on cue. Firemen spray them violently with foam, as if they were rioters. The seller evacuates his bowels in front of me, in a trance. That’s all I can remember.

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